Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Two Years Ago

Two years ago today seems a lifetime ago. It seems cliche to say such but it really is a truth of mine. On my Facebook timeline for two years ago today, I was reminded of the following:

“So here's something kind of cool & very much a different perspective. An elite runner is staying at my hotel. Needless to say, he's VERY fast. He asked how my marathon went & I gave him the run down. He said, "I run fast because I could NEVER do what you do. I couldn't go out there for several hours & give it my all. All I have to give is about two hours & a few minutes." I told him I really didn't mind. I thought it was kind of neat to see someone else's view.”

This was in regards to the 2014 Marine Corps Marathon and it was when things in my life were a lot more “normal.” But normality is probably also cliche.

It’s no secret that when you loose your “mojo” it is so far gone sometimes, it can seem also an entire lifetime ago. Two years ago, twenty pounds less, less defeated, less lonely and more motivated… There are days when I think to head out for a run and feel as though I am a brand new runner. In so many ways, I probably now am. I think it’s funny to know I’ve done a few marathons, countless long runs, countless miles, yet, today unlike two years ago, I feel like a brand new runner. 

I don’t know the sentiment is necessarily a negative. It does make it really hard most days to find the motivation to regain some of those strength in miles I had two years ago. I’ve never been big on boasting about my running times, the miles though are another story. I’m in awe of my own damn self some days when I think about all the miles in my running log. Some days though, I wonder how the hell I ever did it at all. And today, I wonder how the hell I get motivated to do it again.

When I revisited the “elite” runner’s perspective, I felt a small chip of the wall holding me back, fall away. 

Back when I trained for my first marathon, my friend Becky gave me a bracelet with a charm dangling from the bangle and it said, “It’s Not a Sprint, It’s a Marathon.” I love this bracelet so much, not only because it’s super cute, but because someone else had a faith in me I didn’t necessarily see to have for myself. The saying applies to so much more than just running. Some days seem like a marathon, some months, some seasons do too. July 9, the marathon of making it thru the days without my mom started. Some days I can’t wait to go back to bed. Some hours I hurry thru to get one step closer to the day’s end. 

The elite runner saw something from an entirely different perspective than mine. We ran the same miles, we saw the same things, we hit the same streets, but what he said was more powerful to me than I knew to see for myself. 

Last week, I went back to my Wednesday running group. I didn’t run, I walked and visited and it felt nice to be surrounded with different people. It felt good afterwards to talk about so many different things, to drink beer, watch baseball and just talk to each other about everything and nothing. I have my stuff all ready for tonight’s running group too and maybe I’ll even run a couple of those miles. 

Two years ago seems so long ago, so recent and so much wiser than today. I have a different outlook for tomorrow right in this moment than I did yesterday. I can feel the chips falling off the wall and look forward to breaking it down piece by piece, no matter how small the pieces may be.

Be safe and happy, peaceful running, y’all!

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